Phoenix Wright:  The Conversations
by Phoenix Fidelius
Summary: These are just some short conversations that I think I might have had with some of the Phoenix Wright cast.  Some have to do with fics I've written, others may just be a bit of banter.  Updated with two new convos.
1. Take Your Clothes Off

The first entry in my "Conversations" drabbles. This came about while discussing with a friend my recent MayaXEdgeworth fic in which Edgeworth loses a bit more of his clothing than he might have preferred. xD So I just thought to myself, _What would Edgeworth say to me after writing him into such a situation?_ And thus, the Conversations series was born. :3

**I don't own Miles Edgeworth. Though I do enjoy ordering him around. XD**

**

* * *

****Me:** Edgeworth, take your clothes off. You're half-naked in this scene.

**Edgeworth:** Wha – how dare you use my hot body to get people to read your lame-ass fics!

**Me:** Just shut up and take your clothes off.

**Edgeworth:** What do you think I am, a slab of meat in a cravat? I have feelings too, you know.

**Me:** Yeah yeah, we all know you're the most angst-ridden, emo crybaby in the whole series, now get naked so I can write the damn scene already.

**Edgeworth:** Th – that is an affront to my character, sir! I am most certainly not emo.

**Me:** (poring over his fics) Riiiight.

**Edgeworth:** (looking wary) ….

**Me:** Phoenix and Franziska are doing each other.

**Edgeworth:** (sobs) The traitors! (breaks into hysterical fit)

**Me:** Sooo not emo.


	2. Phoenix Likes It

Pwahaha...we all know Phoenix likes it when Franzy whips him. xDD Or at the very least, I like teasing him about it. xD

Also, maybe some slight spoilers from JFA and T&T.

**Phoenix Wright's ass is property of Franziska von Karma's whip. I mean Capcom.

* * *

**

**Phoenix:** Hey Fidelius, what's with you? Why on earth would you think I was a closet masochist?

**Me:** Uhh, maybe because you passed out from the pleasure when Franziska whipped you after you beat her in JFA Case 2?

**Phoenix:** I passed out from the _pain_, you ass!

**Me:** Suuure you did.

**Phoenix:** What the hell?! I am NOT a masochist!

**Me:** Didn't you call Franziska "cute" in Trials and Tribulations? It strikes me as odd that you'd call a girl who had flogged you into unconsciousness "cute."

**Phoenix:** I – well…

**Me:** Busted…


	3. Lesbians

So. My friend recently drew a wonderful picture of Maya and Franziska, and became very upset because she likes the Maya X Franziska pairing now. This conversation between Maya and Franziska was inspired by that picture. If you'd like to see it, I'll be posting a link in my profile.

**I don't own Maya Fey or (hysterical sobbing) Franziska von Karma. **

* * *

**Maya:** (browsing internet) Hey Franziska! Look at this picture of us. Isn't it cute? 

**Franziska:** (admiring picture) Well, I don't look half bad here.

**Maya:** What the…some people are saying we look like lesbians in it!

**Franziska:** (sighing) Yes, I get that a lot.

**Maya:** Why would anyone think you're a lesbian?

**Franziska:** I am afraid certain fools have foolish stereotypes about my short hair and the fact that I come across as a dominatrix.

**Maya:** Your hair's not that short. And what does being a dominatrix have to do with being a lesbian?

**Franziska:** I don't know. But you must admit, we do look pretty hot together.

**Maya:** You think?

**Franziska:** Just ask that foolish heap of foolishness over there.

**Me:** (ogling picture, glassy-eyed and drooling)

* * *

A/N:_ Also, to anyone who likes Franzy as a lesbian, I don't mean to offend. Its just a little harmless joke at your expense right? I know not all of you are foolish fools. :P_


	4. Payne's Pain

Gahahaha...I'll probably never write a fic about Payne so I had to stick him in here. xD Poor guy, he really lives up to his name.

**I do not own Winston Payne, and I definitely wouldn't want to. No really.

* * *

**

**Me:** So, Prosecutor Payne, why on earth does your voice sound like a chicken being slaughtered?

**Payne:** Funny story actually. When I was ten I was playing a game of soccer, and this older, quite muscular boy missed kicking the ball and instead booted me right in the sweet spot. I was unconscious for several days afterwards. It forever stunted the growth of my genitals.

**Me:** (editing his fics) I see.

**Payne: **…

**Me: **(continues editing)

**Payne:** Was that all?

**Me:** Good God yes. Get the hell away from me.


	5. Gross!

Like Payne, Grossberg is another character I'd likely not write a fic about...and after this conversation with him I almost feel sorry about it. xD Maybe someday I'll write a short little something involving him, just to make him feel loved and included. :3

**I do not own any of Grossberg's 250-something pounds. Thankfully.

* * *

**

**Grossberg:** Hello there, Mr. Author!

**Me:** (not even looking up from his writing) And you are…?

**Grossberg:** Why, it's me, Marvin Grossberg!

**Me:** So your name is _not _Phoenix Wright?

**Grossberg:** Why no, but I don't see –

**Me:** And your name is, also, _not_ Miles Edgeworth?

**Grossberg:** Well of course not, but –

**Me:** Then why are you even talking to me?

**Grossberg:** W – well I thought you might like to write one of your lovely little fanfics about a wizened, thoroughbred defense attorney such as myself!

**Me:** (still not looking up) Uh-huh. Mr. – ah – Fatberg, was it?

**Grossberg:** (looking embarrassed) Er, no, it's Grossberg…

**Me:** Whatever. I just don't think you, um, "fit" with my type of writing, mmkay?

**Grossberg:** I see…

**Me:** Move along now, your huge body is blocking my light.

**Grossberg: **(shuffles purposelessly away)


	6. Yes, I Am a Bastard

Ok, so I don't like Godot very much. I find him very annoying throughout pretty much the whole third game, and of all the PW prosecutors he's probably the worst, IMO. So, with that preface, here's a rather uncivil conversation I had recently with Godot. xD

Also, there are some Trials and Tribulations spoilers, with regards to Case 5.

**I don't own Godot, or his freaky mask. That would be Capcom.**

* * *

**Godot:** Hey Fidelius, how come you haven't written any fics about me yet? 

**Me:** Well Godot, that's because I hate you.

**Godot:** Well, you have a bad attitude.

**Me:** And you have a ridiculous face mask. I mean, were you attention starved as a child? That mask just screams, "Look at me! Pity me! I'm a loser!"

**Godot:** That's not fair, I need this to see!

**Me:** Suuure. You know you just like the attention.

**Godot:** You're just rude…

**Me:** And you're just a murderer.

**Godot: **Wh – what?! I…I had no choice! Misty and I both decided…

**Me: **You mean that horribly convoluted plan was the _only _way to save Maya? I find that hard to believe.

**Godot:** (taken aback) That is just cruel. You're a horrible human being.

**Me:** And you're a drug addict.

**Godot:** I – what?!

**Me:** You heard me, you're a drug addict. You're addicted to caffeine.

**Godot:** Caffeine isn't a drug, it's in coffee!

**Me:** Caffeine _is_ a drug, you moronic metalhead. It's a stimulant, same as cocaine.

**Godot:** L – lies!

**Me:** So basically what we've established so far is that you're a moronic, attention-seeking murderer with a stupid face mask and a penchant for doing drugs.

**Godot:** (bleeds bloody tears)

* * *

A/N: _In case it's not clear, the title of this chapter has to do with how my writer alter-ego is a complete bastard. Or, if you prefer, it can be a reference to how big a bastard Godot is in the game. Either works. xD_


	7. What She Wears

Here's a rather interesting conversation about a topic I hold near and dear to my heart: Franzy's panties. XD

**Blah blah blah don't own any of them, blah blah blah Capcom. Also, I stole the crotchless panty line from the movie "Head Over Heels." ;P**

* * *

**Phoenix: **No way, she's way more of a thong person. 

**Edgeworth: **Are you mad, Wright? She wears black, French-cut, crotchless panties, bet on it.

**Me: **Would you two idiots shut up? I'm trying to write here.

**Phoenix: **Sorry. We're just trying to figure out what sort of underwear Franziska wears.

**Me: **Well why don't we just ask? Hey Franziska!

**Phoenix: **(panicked) No, you can't!

**Edgeworth: **Are you insane?! You want to get us all killed?

**Franziska:** What do you want, Mr. Phoenix Fidelius?

**Me: **(over Nick and Edgeworth's protests) We were wondering what kind of underwear you wear.

**Franziska: **Oh that. Well, here… (lifts up skirt)

**Phoenix: **(nosebleeds)

**Edgeworth: **…I have a…meeting…yes… (grabs box of tissues and heads to bathroom)

**Me: **(keels over)

**Franziska: **(smirking) Foolish fools. (walks away)

* * *

A/N: _Fwuahahaha... I'll let you all imagine what the three of us saw...XD_


End file.
